I didn’t think that turning 50 was going to be such a big deal. I guess I was wrong. Everything that I used to feel seems to be so far removed from what I feel now. I’m not really sure who I am now. I seem a little lost. I’ve always told my children, “A ship out to sea without a destination is a ship lost at sea.” I know my destination but I sure as hell feel lost at sea. Maybe this is just a moment, or this is just what happens as you mature in life. I don’t know.
As the time gets closer to March 29th, I feel more uncertain about life. I don’t know exactly what to do. I hope this feeling passes soon.