I am 48

I love celebrating my birthday. I know my mom loved celebrating my birthday. Her income tax return also arrived around my birthday. We would always celebrate at Sizzlers or have a house party. When I turned 12 she let me have my party at Chucky Cheese. It was always a celebration!!!

The last three birthday’s have been so different than what I am used to experiencing.

In 2018, I was turning 45 years old. I had just returned home a week before my birthday after a 12 day stay in the hospital. I was still ill and weak.

In 2019, a few weeks before my birthday my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This was a tough birthday. I knew this would be the last with my mom. She was recovering from a surgery and she was depressed.

In 2020, a global pandemic hit the world. It was a strange time. Zoom meetings and going live on Facebook became the way you celebrated with everyone.

Now in 2021, it seems as though the world is moving back in the right direction. For the first time in a few years my life feels more normal or as normal as it can be. My mom is not here. My OG homie Calvin was taken away by cancer earlier this month.

All of the death that has been all around me these last few years is a strong reminder to me that I need to stay in the present. I need to appreciate all the small things.

Life is today. Life is not tomorrow. Life is not yesterday. Life is right now! I am thankful that I have reached 48. I am walking on my own. I am not in a hospital. I have more than enough to make anyone happy. At 48, I have peace. That is priceless to me.

I want to thank all of you who have loved me. I appreciate you all. I want to thank my wife Gina for loving her “Cantankerous” man. I want to thank my children who inspire me to be young forever!

Damn!!!! I make 48 look great!!!

Photo by Jordan McCray

Write it down. Take a picture. I don't give a f*ck!

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